Why do I remember the date so well? Allison Leonard/Ilona McCarty. -Jessica, My husband unabashedly complained about a canker sore while I was in labor. Im late to the party but here is a story for you When one starts living with a functioning alcoholic husband, they try to take control of situations, as mentioned above, and behave as a counselor. I think if he is unwilling to decrease the drinking NOW he is going to be unwilling to read anything you give him. Its never easy to be with an alcoholic husband, but these things can surely help. I was prepped for emergency c-section and we had friends in boats out looking for him in the bay. How pregnant: 41 weeks, 2 days. I watched a CSI marathon the entire time I was in labor. Alcoholism is a serious addiction that can affect both the addict and those around them. Lets just say that he ended up spending the night in the hospital with me. My lovely ex husband was irritated that I was deciding to have the child on overtime hours and he I thought that was all obvious to DH but apparently I was wrong. What is the typical personality of an alcoholic? I'm so sorry that you are going through this, I wouldn't wish it on anyone. My dear husband decides its a good idea to take a work call on the bluetooth/speakers in the car! "Had 'bloody show' for two weeks prior to my water breaking and even lost my mucus plug and NADA! at around 11 pm when i started to vomit and asked if we should probably get to the hospital he said are you sure this time? Luckily, I had the exact opposite experience . The love and support of your family can help you cope during this difficult time and give you the encouragement you need to get back on track. I was sleeping when suddenly cramped stood up and my water broke. You know, the stuff you still hold over his head. Have you ever discussed this with friends and inquired about how much their husbands drink? 45 minutes later, we left the house in a crazy snowstorm. Or even if it wasnt, theres still a little bit of schadenfreude involved isnt there? Then he is hungry and is trying to make a sandwich and I inform him it is time to leave for the hospital. Pregnant . So if he wont agree to give up the drinks then you should have someone as a backup coach that can stand in for him. this was his fourth child. Here is a picture of him, having a little lie down with Jack about 20 minutes after he was born. I hope you haven't given up on this post. Was. On the way there, he takes a random left turn and lets me know he needs to stop at the ATM because he has no money. Did you have a birth plan? And yes, I actually fix my hair. He says to her Oh, the hospital said theyd call me as soon as anything happened As he was saying the words he knew hed made a mistake. This, my friends, is truly a gift. Michelle, My husband took a conference call on the way to the hospital. Labour won't "sober him up" and make it safe for him to drive. The best way to cope with your stress and maintain a positive attitude is to stay focused on your goals and avoid situations that may trigger the urge to drink. -One Funny Motha, While in labor with a placental abruption at 34 weeks, my husband says I think you should calm down. He finally agreed, but not until he took a shower and fixed himself breakfast! Raspberry leaf tea is supposed to help with uterine contractions, reported Pregnancy, Birth & Beyond, though there's some contradictory evidence as to whether or not it . The. Thank you TokenI think im in love with you! I woke up at 2:30 to contractions. Help her stay focused and relaxed. Jaime Clark didn't feel contractions with her first baby, either. Pleaseselect whether I bother you once a day or once a week. -RealMomofNJ, Mine kicked me out of the car in the ambulance bay 9cm dilated with my bag and left me to traipse across the hospital and up two flights of stairs on my own because he didnt want to pay for hospital parking. I had a hellish time trying to breastfeed my newborn son (turns out he had a tongue thrust issue and didnt latch on until he was 5 weeks old ) and in the middle of the hospital room, amidst lactation consultants and even a sucking specialist , my husband announces : Honey, let me show you, this is how you do it. I told him if I missed my epidural window I would end his life. But hey, at least the rage is not being maintained. Well, watched is a bit strong, but it was on the entire time! He works, he goes out with friends, and when OP asks him to be around or spend more time with her, he tells her to get her own friends. Here are 12 Natural Ways to Induce Labor. After the haircut I assume we will be leaving for the hospital and then he informs me he needs to take a shower to get the hair off. I couldnt reach my call light, or my chapstick to throw at him, and he wasnt responding to me whisper shouting at him. around 9 he came to bed, moved me over and tried to go to sleep. My husband actually went back to sleep when I told him I was in laborAnd then when we were AT the hospital, The nurse kept asking him questions about how to get her son into the University he worked at while they were holding my legs. It helps release oxytocin, which is the hormone that causes your uterus to contract. A 'habit' of drinking more than 5 drinks in a night, thinking that he 'deserves' to unwind however he wants, these are signs that he dependent on alcohol. As a wife of a recovering alcoholic please listen to what everyone is saying about binge drinking and alcoholism. However, this may all change come December when I'm giving birth to our first child. Silverstein had her first child in a hospital, with her husband present. She thought it might go away. -Kate, Right after my c-section, my husband asked the nurse in the recovery room if he could just lay down on the floor, saying I promise I wont be in the way. Even if this method doesn't work, it's a great way to relieve stress and keep your body strong for the . He THEN started snoring and for about 30 minutes I tried to ignore it, but was just getting increasingly more annoyed with each breath he took. Stand with them and help them overcome it. Ha, I thought to myself, hell be visiting the bathroom regularly tomorrow. Hopefully not, so perhaps you can work that angle to get him to realize that he has to drive you to the hospital. I was in labor (induced) for 48 hours while my husband was uncomfortable in his chair and feeling nauseous from a sandwich he ate. Luckily, my own husband was a peach! Professional help might be available via your health insurance if he needs medical assistance due to withdrawal symptoms (which, if he drinks every day, he might) or a specific substance abuse program may even be available under the mental health coverage in your plan. However, he also started to diet right around the same time, so I think that helped. Diagnosing alcoholism can be difficult because it often goes unnoticed by family and friends. Yes, by all means continue defending your drunk husband because he's dumb and he has to drink because of his job. When you go through what women go through in labor and delivery, you can tell us about being bitchy. So not only did my husband eat an Indian take-away while I was in the throws of labour, he told me my hair looked a mess. I called and called and called him just to get that annoying beep saying he was already on the phone (with his brother) he would not answer my call. It was winter so between contractions I had to warm up the car and take my bags out. I mean you did what she asked, right??? That first night, my husbands parents took him to eat a fancy steak dinner while I was stuck in the hospital eating cafeteria food and playing hostess to15 or so unannounced visitors who all showed up at the same time. Thank you! I know you don't want to hear this, but you really need to read up on alcoholism. That he won't stop for a few weeks while you approach the end of your pregnancy (or forever) is even MORE indicative of that dependency and addiction. Whos really stupid? He never slept even when I did (due to pain meds, epidural didnt work) for 27 hours. Supporting a woman in labor is an incredibly exciting and important role. This message, when put right, will force them to be in their best mood despite being overly drunk. I have to admit, my husband is a trooper in regards to labor and delivery, absolutely wonderful. If he won't deal with that, you should. Are you kidding me? 9 months or so? She told you how big he was going to be. However, this might give you peace of mind for a moment. Have you thought about what your day-to-day lifewill be like? He happily, obliviously goes back to work. Driving drunk is a big effing deal. I went home, took a shower, fed the cats, and came back a few hours later to strange looks from the nurses who cared for my baby while I was gone. Nausea and vomiting, diarrhea, and an overall feeling of being unwell. . I hope for the long term something or someone can get through to him so he can find a different way to relax. Well, after 21 years we are still happily married and you have to realize that you have to take the good with the bad. Both those incidents still come up at family get togethers. I was in delivery with my second child in 12 months. Your rights as a patient supecedes his right to violate your peace and privacy. He called the hospital and they said theyd call him as soon as anything happened. The men or the women that married men like the ones referenced in the comments? When I was in labor with our son my wife was AMAZING, a true hero. Well of course the pain increased dramatically and the nurse, watching the monitor, kept commenting on it soothingly, so I figured hubby was right there with me. For example, someone might have a problem with drinking but deny it to themselves or their loved ones to avoid admitting they have a drinking problem. And to all the posters making excuses: it doesn't matter if it's beer or liquor. What would make a soon-to-be-dad not realize the birth of his child is a momentous occasion? Since I had to have a c-section he stayed in the hospital with me the 3 days sleeping on the couch and changed ALL the diapers. Thank you all for this! Suffer. The nurse ran out of room because she couldnt handle it. Water Breaking Is a (Damn Obvious) Sign of Labor. When I told my boyfriend it was time to go, he said he needed to take a shower and shave. Every nurse who came to check on me kept asking me if my husband was coming to be with me. My husband took nearly two hours to have lunch with his mom at the hospital, after he had been helping me through contractions all morning. I said we didnt have that kind of time that Id gone from 5cm-8cm in 35 minutes. Exercise can be anything that gets the heart rate up, such as a long walk. Last week, I made a simple request on the Mommy Shorts fanpage. Her husband waited nearby but outside the birthing room. The birth of our child is not about him, it's about me and the baby. At 6am. Clearly this was ridiculous. I ended up having a C-section and he decided it would be best if he waited in the recovery room instead of coming into the E.R. Its not a movie wherein things change quickly. This is YOUR own husband being an alcoholic. I come into the living room and give her a kiss. He went to smoke a cigarette before the midwife came to see me,and by the time he got back, I was already pushing. I'm worried, because I NEED a good labor coach to achieve my goal of a natural birth, but if the whole process begins with me being incredibly pissed at a buzzed DH, I will fail. If I were you, I would have a back up plan. What happens if you have an emergency at home one night and your husband is drunk? I was having post labor contractions holding onto the counter begging him to just microwave a Mac and cheese from the freezer talking him through it. It was like something from a movie. Every birthday growing up I heard about the stupid thing my Dad did when I was born. While bringing the note over they saw his truck and had to go bang on our bedroom window to wake my stupid husband up. Lucky for him, he was standing just out of my reach. How do you know he will take you seriously if you tell him you are uncomfortable with the amount he is drinking? Living with an alcoholic husband requires a lot of patience, courage, and the support of people around. A simple rule for when to go to the hospital for labor is the 5-1-1 rule. I ended up wandering around the hospital and eventually bumped into him as he was on his way back in When you sent the call out, you said husbands, and I totally forgot what my dad did the night I was born. Lydia Swortzel, 36, went into labor at 21 weeks with identical twins after seven years of infertility. Remember, youre not to be blamed for their habit. You can also ask them any questions you may have and share your experiences with them. Phil, was at this point, fading fast. Im shaking because of the epidural so I get no sleep, and hes snoring and well fed. Seriously?? While have contractions at home with my 1st child ( it was around 6pm and my contractions were coming every 5min) my husband called up to me from down stairs (I was on all 4s at this point) asking if I was hungry and he was going to order an Indian take-away. I feel so much resentment for his lack of physical and emotional support. We asked around and found 10 different ways women knew they were in labor. This happened to my friend. So the end result was his own personal police escort to the hospital. Go figure! Mine wasnt nearly as bad as these more just funny. Thank goodness he was great the rest of the time or Id be a widow, not a divorcee. Drinking several drinks a night to "unwind" after a hard day at work on a regular basis is indicative of a dependency. and my water broke at 2am so I tried calling him to tell him to come back. I am not saying what your DH is doing is right, in fact, I think 5 drinks every night is a bit heavy and you should talk to him about it. A man can metabolize 2 drinks a day. Ouch. I'll talk to him tomorrow. She drives me to my place, which looks surreal in the morning light. When a child is born, act up, misbehaves, it is still our child. I tell her I need to go home. If you feel disconnected or frustrated about the state of your marriage but want to avoid separation and/or divorce, the marriage.com course meant for married couples is an excellent resource to help you overcome the most challenging aspects of being married. Once emergency responders had arrived and . After threats, and having my parents call and force him to drive back. When they dont have a limit, they will drink more than they need to and will surely be uncontrollable. I was so out of it by this point (having no pain medication at all) that I did not know my husband had helped. This was compounded by the fact I went from water breaking to transition skipping the first four stages of labor ( I couldnt even talk). My husband was awesome! If my DH drank that much regularly and refused to stop he would be on his own. It scream youth and ignorance. I spent the entire time in the hospital alone. I was induced w/our first, and it took a while for things to kick in. About 15 minutes or so later I hear my wife come in the house and call out to let me know she was home. He told me later he was definitely buzzed but me waking him up was the most sobering thing ever. I get all the credit for being an awesome stepdad and none of the crap over what got screwed up during labor. Then 14 hours and a baby boy later, he called to let everyone at the office (a family business) know the good news. She said she would kill me if i left or fainted so, yeah, i was there for her..lol, I wouldve called my nurse in and asked her to slap him! Sept. 28, 2016. took a look and her and said he was glad it was over and that she looked like a spider monkey. Then he gets home and wants a couple more glasses of wine. The only challenge that arises at that moment is neither your husband needs your help at that very moment nor youre a professional counselor. I Just know I need someone calm and sober with me when labor starts, not someone with booze breath. DH is not allowed to drink at all right now..my life and his unborn child are going to be in his hands when he drives me to the hospital. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. While driving my manic husband was trying to count off 4 count breaths. (Hopefully it won't have to go there but if the nice and logical angle doens't work you may have to come on a little strong) IMO. Some women experience other symptoms of labor with a bloody show: Cramping: You may feel period-like cramps that come and go over the course of hours or even days. According to the World Health Organisation. With my first child, my husband slept the entire time from time time i started having contractions to the time when i started to push. These are hilarious! There is no pattern. He finally comes back as I was about to go investigate (and by investigate, I mean cause bodily harm) and explained that he had food stuck in his teeth so he had been trying to floss it out!!!!!!
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